Making love to myself
alone with my hand once more
I finish up and zip it up
Then stop and clean the floor

When I'm done, I lay back down
and Turn the TV on.
Hit the 3 and then the 0
Watch EmptyV and yawn.

When from somewhere comes a mood
quick and suddenly
sadness like a stone weighs
it's melancholy

In my head, a voice cries out
"Is this all I'll ever be?"
Alone again, on Saturday nite,
Just I, myself, and me.

Why don't I have a girlfriend
Why aren't I otherwise attached
Why is it, it seems
That the door is always latched

From the inside or the out
Sometimes self inflicted pain
Or is it self discipline
in the long run will I gain?

In love with one I cannot touch
and touching one I cannot love
is this a punishment straight from hell
or a trial from Above?

The frustration of the conflict
'Tween the body and the mind
and while I stop to argue with myself
The others leave me behind

Am I a freak? What's wrong with me?
Why can't I get laid?
Maybe in my heart of hearts
somewhere I am afraid.

Or then again, somewhere else
perhaps I know it's wrong
unfortunately it's this choice
that makes my highway long.

Long and bumpy, full of rocks
and signs that lead astray.
Tempting paths easier than mine,
Just a step away.

And still I trudge, along my road,
with the burdens that I bear.
A gift I carry, to the one
Who's ring I'll someday wear.

And While all the others jeer and taunt
And walk their easy roads
I'll walk mine, step by step
with a smile to lighten my load.

AcB 5.26.97