Door closed
I try to
recreate my
haven from the
shattered pieces
that scream
in my head.
Heavy as a
mountain is the
monkey on my
back. Good, bad
Good, bad, good
Bad, life.

Quietly I contemplate
where I might've
been, had I not
done what needed
to be done.
I feel my bones
tell the truth
when they say
that regret and self
loathing would
have been my
only gifts had
I overlooked the
obvious. But the
smile that comes
for that thought
is a regretful one.
Not for my actions,
but for my unenviable
position. And it is
what I chose, and
so I embrace it, because
if I didn't
it would negate my need
to be here, and here
is where I want to be.

AcB 10.6.99