I have never been in love
I have sensed it
like a lover in the darkness
been close to love
felt its nearness
like a blind man can feel a fire
but I have not known love

I have not been intimate with love
felt its pulse push delicately against my skin
I have not looked into love's eyes and lost myself there
I have not touched love's tender red heart
and given myself away in sick-sweet surrender

But I have seen love
I have seen love's current wash away the foundations of being
I have seen love smolder and die
and I have seen it struggle back to life
There is love
it exists and I believe in it
but maybe love is rare
rarer than we think and fragile
and maybe we don't know it

*

Perhaps love is not
the callused contentment of age and weariness
perhaps that is just companionship

Maybe love is not
the purple passion of twisted bodies and fiery lungs
maybe that is only lust

Maybe love is not
the awkwardness of sweaty dark places and clumsy almost-kisses
maybe that is merely youth

Maybe love is crows feathers, and cheap perfume, and elevator music
and all the things we think its not

Maybe love is a stick ball game in thick Brooklyn heat
on a midday Brooklyn street
Maybe it's not

Maybe love is two lips
maybe two lips are a kiss
maybe a kiss is forever

maybe I am dreaming
maybe I am wrong
baby, I am done

AcB 01.30.01